At the start of each new year I have a cherished tradition of reading through my prayer journal from the year just completed. It puts everything in perspective and helps me to see the bigger timeline of God’s ongoing work in my life. As I participated in that exercise earlier this month there was one sentence that stuck out to me over all the rest.
“I feel like a tiny piece of glass trying to be a chandelier.”
I cannot recall what was happening on the particular day that was written. But it does not matter. The reality of that statement is true each and every day.
I feel so weak, fragile and vulnerable. I could easily shatter if too many things go wrong in a day.
I am unable to rely on my wealth of experience, have not been here long enough for that.
I am unable to rely on things going my way as an indicator that I am doing the right thing. No matter how much I have planned, things will always go wrong.
I am unable to rely on a support network of physically present friends and family.
I am unable.
But HE is able.
I remember watching the movie Pollyanna as a child. Honestly, I can recall very little about the plot. I do remember that the main character is a very optimistic child actively trying to convince everyone else to look on the bright side. In an effort to cheer up a dying woman, Pollyanna once hung glass prisms in a window to create a beautiful display of light. The rainbows painted on the walls by the refracted light seemed like a magical fantasy in my young mind. It is a very good thing my parents did not own a chandelier at the time, I most certainly would have dismantled it in an effort to reenact the scene.
In life my job is not to be the light in the chandelier. It is not to do the scientific work of refracting light.
Instead my work as a child participant of the Kingdom is to be a tiny piece of glass that stands in the light. God provides the light. And his glory makes beautiful displays of light and power all over the world. My job is to turn my eyes to the Light and not depart from it.
So I may be weak. I am assuredly far from majestic and awe-inspiring. And I may shatter at any moment. But I can reflect. I can be a fragile piece of glass reflecting the light of God.
“And it is to this end I labor, struggling with all his energy,
which so powerfully works in me.” Colossians 1:29 NIV